How the Nestle Crisis Can be Healed


I’m with my man, Josh Millrod, on on this. all nestle had to do was put out a change cup in the cafeteria; put a sign on it which reads, “Please help register our brand is being held for ransom and we are only .98 cents short.”

I am sure somebody would have skipped their extra shot of espresso in their caramel macchiato cherry mocha latte, well maybe not their extra shot of espresso, but @ least 2 extra pumps of syrup to save 80 cents and donate it towards domain registration of

Then nestle could have followed in the footsteps of – transparency down to the crows feet around your butt hole.

Post infographics, which dynamically populate rows of barrels that get longer as nestle increases its use of Certified Sustainable Palm Oil, to manufacture recyclable Kit Kats. have a break of a green Kit Kat and a lumberjack’s chainsaw.

You could post jobs to fill up staff positions required to coordinate and execute the sustainable palm oil effort and post how many jobs have been created. Jobs like palm oil taste testers – if the palm oil tastes like wheatgrass, then they get a Green Palm Certificate; nonetheless, if after tasting a spoonful of palm oil, the palm oil tester is inclined to strip naked and hold hands with 10 other palm oil testers in a group hug around a palm oil tree, then instead of getting a Green Palm Certificate they’ll throw a bucket full of orangutan blood at the Nestle ceo. Then they’ll take a picture of him and photoshop the nestle pigeon so its head is chopped off and make that the nestle logo; Facebook censorship prohibited; comment deletions are punishable by a fine of $4.9 billion dollars and getting a non-recyclable shitty adult diaper opened and wiped on the your community manager’s face.

If you didn’t get in the last half of the 20th Century, when Jack Trout said it, hear me. Never before have consumers had more control over your brand’s positioning in their mind than on this date in 2010. In the wise words of the all-wise 700-wife King Solomon, “There is nothing new under the sun.”

Consumers have always had control of the categories over which a brand is recognized. Paul Revere went viral centuries ago, at the birth of this nation. Our founding fathers didn’t have the liberty of poking each other at the click of a mouse button, but you could bet they were throwing pebbles at each other’s windows conspiring to make this country happen. The United States is a positive return on investment of a viral marketing campaign.

Consumers take a look at the mirror and say hi to Rupert Murdoch 2.0. Brands ignore these baby Murdochs, and there’s going to be a lot of ass whippin’ at the next shareholder’s conference.

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